


Can I Finally Call This Joy?

by Vinnulae



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Depressed Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), F/M, High School Student Eren Yeager, High School Student Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), How Do I Tag, M/M, WAT AM I DOING, ereri, halp, i should be asleep, no rest for the author, oh well, skemdepdpel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 02:08:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7021558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vinnulae/pseuds/Vinnulae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My joy was hidden, and my sunshine guided me back with his twinkling emerald eyes.<br/>I thought the concept of friends would never even apply to me, but the damn brat with that warm smile proved me so wrong.</p><p>But now I don't regret loving my joy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can I Finally Call This Joy?

**Author's Note:**

> I dont even know. I suck at writing but i thought i should give it a shot :/  
> also suck at summaries

When people say ‘Life is too hard’ I tend to scoff and look away with disgust, they don’t know. They can’t possibly grasp even the slightest clue and I hate it. It’s stupid and childish I know, but sometimes, during my darkest hours, I envy them with a burning passion. Why did they get to have a somewhat decent life? Now don’t get me wrong, not all of these rich spoiled kids lives are rays of sunshine and happy rainbows, though compared to the dreary cold hellhole of an experience called living I've had...You could say these proud, ignorant and simply oblivious teens- no, children have racked up better and happier years than myself. At least, that’s what I used to think.  
Then I met Him, bright emerald eyes always so full of a certain spark, it twinkled and gleamed. Almost pulsating with joyful energy, but He wasn't like the other abundance of fake pretenders, no.

His smile was real. Filled with a warm, kind and yet oh so cheerful force. I don’t know what strange sort of miracle compelled Him to approach me, sitting at the very back of an almost desolate drama studio. Our teacher had skipped yet another day, meaning the majority of the other students had scattered off into hallways and unused classrooms. Though despite my greatest wishes, not everyone had left, He still remained. Oddly enough, He chose not to directly speak to me instead flashing a beaming smile. After a while it finally came to our first real consultation.

"Hey! I'm Eren Jaeger, nice to meet you."  
And even now, those words still fill me with a ridiculously high hope. When that popular boy simply spoke, I could feel my walls and resolve start to melt away with every cheerful syllable. These basic words had started not only a conversation, but an everlasting friendship. That same friendship that pulled me out of my black hole full of despair and self loathing. 

I finally had a friend.

Even if it was just Eren, he had actually made me feel welcomed and invited in this world. Without harsh words or a fist full of reality, Eren was my light. The one I could always count on to accept me, especially when no other would. I hated to admit it outright, but I had most definitely loved him. Despite my obvious mocking and sarcastic comments, I really did care for my one and only companion. Who couldn't? Those mischievous yet gleaming eyes twinkled, bewitching and enchanting everyone they gazed upon with kindness and a fruitful mirth.

Now I might sound like an old man when I say these things, but I guarantee every one of them is true. Our casual meetings and greetings, these are what filled me with a warm glow. It slowly crept into my chest as that damned smile ensnared me over and over.

This is my final letter to you, Eren.  
I want to thank you for all you have done.  
And now you're away, dancing with her, the beautiful girl.  
My lips are sealed forever, so I won't forget your happy, broken words.  
Thank you, Eren, for giving me my only happiness in this life.  
I suppose...I can finally call this joy.  
My ink runs across this paper with my tears of joy.  
Though this will be the only time I can feel joy again in this life, I want to remember.  
And I owe this all to you, Eren.  
Goodbye, my sunshine, I know you and the girl will see happier days.

Without a trace of hesitation the paper is throw on the desk, and the pill bottle opened. A gag was stifled yet the pills still were swallowed.  
I remember my sunshine now, and as I sleep. Sunshine will surely fill my dreams.  
Shapes and pastel seas float across my eyes, and the warmness beckons me to its embrace. Lastly I reached out my hand for the last time, my joy was here. And was here to stay.  
Thank you, Eren.


End file.
